COLD MARKET WORKSHOP
Elena Solomon




Have problem starting a conversation with attractive stranger?
Are you a victim of analysis paralysis?

Analysis paralysis is a phrase that describes a situation where the opportunity cost of decision analysis exceeds the benefits that could be gained by enacting some decision, or to informal or non deterministic situations where the sheer quantity of analysis overwhelms the decision making process itself, thus preventing a decision. The phrase applies to any situation where analysis may be applied to help make a decision and may be a dysfunctional element of organizational behavior.

After reading this, talking to stranger should be a breeze....

The best beginning for the conversation is, “Hi”.

(I am sure you can master that!)

The second step is to introduce yourself, “Hi, I am Jim.”

(Not too tricky, is it?)

Then it goes depending on circumstances.

The three most popular and foolproof conversation-starters are:

1). Make a comment about the surroundings;
2). Enquire about something unusual in their appearance;
3). Ask for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.

1. Making a comment about the SURROUNDINGS.

This is the safest and universal conversation-starter. Wherever you are, something’s always happening around you. There are people, or cars, or queues, or something else. Even if there is nothing happening, you can make a comment about that! Use a bit of humor in your comment and most of the time you will get a favorable answer.

For example:

- Hi, what a chilly/hot day today (on a hot day, say it’s chilly, on a chilly day, say it’s hot — it’s VERY funny). I see you are also shivering/sweating. By the way, my name is Jim. What is your name?

- Hi, you know, you look very pretty with these awesome roses as the backdrop. By the way, my name is Jim. What is your name?

- Hey, this queue doesn’t seem to be moving, does it? Since we are going to spend the next few hours here together, I guess I should introduce myself: I am Jim. What is your name?



2. Enquiring about something unusual in their appearance.

This requires some skill but after a while you will be able to pick up something in an instant. It can be a tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a handbag, or even an unusual color. People don’t buy things at random. They buy them and wear them because they LIKE them, or because they MEAN something to them. They have some pleasant emotion attached to it. If you mention this thing, you can tap into this pleasant emotion and they will consider your advances more favorably.

For example:

- Hi! I could not help but noticed this interesting ring. It isn’t an engagement ring, is it? If it is, I will have to end my life in a monastery. And by the way, my name is Jim.

- Hi, I was looking at your earrings; they are exactly what I was looking for, as a present for my sister. Where did you get them? And by the way, my name is Jim.

- Hi, I could not help but noticed the book you are reading, “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”. So, what do you think about it? And by the way, my name is Jim.

3. Asking for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.

This is my favorite!

For some mysterious reason, we just LOVE rendering our opinion as a woman/man. This is such a successful conversation-starter; you can use it anywhere, on anyone. Even 90-year-old grannies will be happy to answer your enquiries.

For example:

- Hi! I am Jim. My friend and I were talking about what women value the most in men they date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a woman’s opinion?

- Hi, I am Jill. My friend and I were talking about what men value the most in women they date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a man’s opinion?

- Etc, etc.

It doesn’t matter what you are asking about. The point is, we all understand that men and women think differently and we appreciate a thoughtful stranger who makes an effort to learn from the source.

That’s it!

You see, it’s not scary at all. Just go and try it - first on the people you don’t care about, and then on the people you like. You will see that men and women alike generally respond very positively to a friendly stranger.


Start with the service personnel at the shops and cafes. They are PAID to be nice to you. Look them in the eyes and strike a conversation. You will see how easy it is.

Once you learn the skill of starting a conversation with strangers, your life is never going to be the same. You will be able to feel at home wherever you go - simply because you know how to talk to people you never met.

Try it. It feels fantastic!